So often in emails I can hear the sweet love of homeschooling and all that you get to do in a day. It tickles me to be even a tiny part of that! A common occurrence in the elementary years is well state by this mom- in the positive and well intention-ed manner of all the goodness that is a homeschooling mom. It is evident that these parents are doing a great job- and are loving doing it!

“We are “starting” 2nd grade this year, even though technically we “should” be starting 1st grade if we were following the public school birthday schedule. This upcoming year is our 3rd year homeschooling. We don’t plan to put our daughter in public or private school, but if we were to consider it, how would that work? If we show work that she completed 1st grade last year, would that count?”

Our opinion is that you should keep children in the grade their age states. This is NOT to say that you should teach her only at this level! The reasons we encourage this are: Going forward easy breezy is smooth sailing when they are little, but often a wall is hit and then the child has panic and confusion over ‘losing’ her smarts, not being able to over achieve as pleases their parent(s) –self mis giving over why it had been so easy and fun to thrill mom/dad with braininess and now the subject seems difficult. Who am I if I’m not super smart? How can mom/dad still be thrilled with me when I’m not smart? I’m gonna lose my pedestal!

Now, we know that is not how we approach or feel, but a child does not and these unspoken worries can eat a child up, cause them to freeze academically, turn away from enjoying learning, and so on. No matter what we say, it is what has been said and the reactions they have seen and conversations overheard that stick in their heart’s memory. Don’t feel terrible if this is you. We see this on a regular basis and we see these families make corrections and move forward happily. But, after much hard work toward changing everyone’s approach, views, and verbage.

So, stick to grade level, teach at academic level without acclaim or proclaim, tell you daughter what a ‘hard worker’ she is, avoid using terms like, ‘you are so smart’, ‘you are an artists’, etc. Expect that throughout her academic career she will zoom ahead and lag behind in any/all subjects. Just take today for what it is and approach tomorrow for what it will bring. No need to title, label, or proclaim.